My Inner Rebel

My Inner Rebel

How do you reconcile your ‘inner rebel’ with always having to be ‘good’, to eat well, to rise early for yoga practice, to drink less alcohol, to drink more water, to eat kale, to add probiotics to your diet, to find time to make a green smoothie today……blah blah blah!
Trust me, that feeling of, “I must do this in order to be healthy and I should do that to create a more balanced lifestyle” is even more pronounced for a health coach.  I sincerely love living the life that I live and I find so much pleasure and inspiration in coaching my clients, but I somedays feel the pressure to ‘walk my talk’ when actually I just want to let loose and be bad.

But what if being bad on occasion is part of the balance?

I have a pretty strong rebellious side who ruled the show in my 20s and I am missing her a little bit – she was fun! But she is rather a conflict with my lifestyle nowadays and I’m always reminded of the negative effects of her choices on my body and mind after the dancing was over.  She was the one who would drink until dusk, dance until dawn and screw the consequences. She would eat with whimsy, work like a trojan and party until she literally dropped.

I think my missing her has become more pronounced with my ‘1 year of no drinking’ experiment (only 76 days to go!) It’s not like I had a drinking problem when I made this decision last year, in fact quite the opposite. In my 20’s my drinking was typical of Hong Kong’s work hard, play hard mentality, but for me that was long gone in favour of a couple of glasses of wine at the weekend.  Literally two or three, on occasion, hardly the stuff of AA nightmares! But perhaps because I had changed so much, had come so far, and it felt so good to be THIS healthy, I was starting to wonder what would happen if I took it one stage further still.

Does ‘healthy’ have a limit? How far can I take this thing? And why do I even drink anyway?……

……Woooaaahhhhh there! I have met this person before. She is the version of me who thought that way about eating and became anorexic for a few years in my teens. She is the version of me who takes a good thing and spins it with the classic type-A need to achieve and goes way out there to be the best of the best of the best……at being thin in that case……which we all know is a road to disaster. (Thank goodness for my wise mother who saw the symptoms and plotted with the family doctor to take me for a ‘regular teen check up’ so he could tell me I was dangerously thin.)

The type-A the version of me, like the rebel, needs to be reminded that balance is good. No: balance is imperative! A little of the rebel can be fun – too much of her is certainly toxic. A little of the type-A, gotta-get-this-thing-done-now can be productive – too much of her is a disaster zone.

We all have these sides to ourselves, any number of them. Think of them as your board of directors seated at loggerheads around your boardroom table. Who takes charge? That will likely depend upon your time of life, as well as your experiences and your personality type. But they all have a voice and they all need to be heard. To silence any one of them is to create imbalance and internal conflict. Even that one whose voice falters when she speaks as she tells you you’re not good enough to be healthy – “who are you to want more from your life anyway?” – even she needs something. Perhaps its love?

Take the time to acknowledge these vital parts of you, to listen to them, and to ensure that they are all heard.

I do love my life, I feel so blessed, but I do also feel the pressure of ‘should’ in my life and my daily yoga practice (my unforgiving mirror).  I find I go through cycles of serious, diligent practice (type A!) and then of finding it hard to find my way to the mat the rebel returns and I am reminded that I need to feed her some of what she needs. Perhaps I need to skydive. Perhaps I need to have a glass of wine over dinner with friends and enjoy a silly, carefree conversation. Perhaps I need to get in the kitchen and make a batch of yummy raw chocolates to indulge with this evening. Perhaps I need to dance until dawn!

Take 5 minutes today to check in with your board of directors. Who is leading proceedings? Who is left in the shadows, too timid to be heard? What can you do for that person today? Do you need to be bad? Do you need to be good? Do you need to find love for yourself, or to give love more readily?

To restore my balance and reinstate equilibrium I need to allow my inner rebel to take a more prominent seat, yet in a way that allows me to still be the me that I have become. I am a passionate health coach and a dedicated yogi – what will rebellion look like for me?  #maybeayearwastoolong

I must also remember that I ALWAYS feel more balanced after my yoga practice, no matter what, no exceptions.  Never once have I regretted standing on that mat and for that knowledge, for my practice, I am eternally grateful.

Do you struggle to find balance in life and health?  No idea who your board of directors even are? Contact me to arrange a ReBalance Consultation, either in person or via Skype/Facetime.

(My first rebellion of the day – I’m posting this without having it proof read!  Every typo is for my inner rebel!) 🙂

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